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Mohammed

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Mohammed

Also aka Muhammad, aka Muhammed, aka Mahomet and a fair few other variants ... guess he had problems with the police or the Child Protection Agency ... (born 570ad - died 632), was the founder of Islam and is regarded by Muslims as the last messenger and prophet of God (thats Allah ... not the Jewish God or the weedy Christian God).

Criticism of Mohammed is often equated with blasphemy. Which is punishable by death in Pakistan as well as having your national flag burned and 'spontaneous' demonstrations against your country. Muslims will be furious ... a more or less permanent state for them especially if you allow 7 year old pupils in your class to call a teddy bear Mohammed!

Mohammed of course loved children ... literally. He married the 6 year old daughter of one of his friends ... jeez, you can see where they get some of their dodgy ideas from can't you.

Seems you can have pictures of Mohammed under some sects. Muslims of course argue bitterly (often with guns) as to whether or not images of Muhammad are permissible. Sunni say it leads to idolatry and is forbidden, Shia say its ok. Just another reason for them to kill each other I guess.

and now some humour...

A Muslim was killed in a car accident and he arrives at the gates of heaven.

St. Peter says: "I'm St. Peter. Welcome to Heaven."

The Muslim says: "Nice to meet you Peter but I'm a Muslim and I want to meet Mohammed.

St. Peter says: "Sure no problem. Climb up that ladder behind you and you will meet Mohammed"

The Muslim climbs up the ladder, gets to the top and there is Moses. Moses says: "Hi I'm Moses. Welcome to Heaven".

The Muslim is very excited. "Moses, it's such an honor to meet you. But like I told St. Peter, I'm a Muslim and I really want to meet Mohammed".

Moses says: "No problem. Climb up the ladder behind you and you will meet Mohammed." The Muslim climbs up the ladder, gets to the top, he can't see anything but bright light. He sees this figure before him and asks: "Who are you?"

The figure responds - "I am God. Nice to meet you. Welcome to Heaven". God walks over and shakes his hand. The Muslim is stunned - he can hardly speak. He says to God: "Sir, it is such an honor to meet you - I can't believe it - this place is great. But I'm a Muslim and, no disrespect intended, but I really want to meet Mohammed."

God says: "Ohh... You're here to see Mohammed. I see. No problem. Have a seat. Get comfortable. Can I get you some coffee or something to eat?" The Muslim says: "I would love a cup of coffee." God yells into the kitchen: "Yo Mohammed. 2 coffees!!!"