The British Military Open Encyclopedia - ARRSE-Pedia. Back to British Army Rumour Service Home


From ARRSEpedia
(Redirected from Mongs)
Jump to: navigation, search

Mong; Army Rumour Service colloq. NOUN.

ARRSE definition: a very stupid individual and often a dangerously disturbed window-licking stim dullard. Super-glued to ARRSE, they are argumentative antisocial mental cunts crayoning tripe, trolling, and stalking members across the forums. Most of ARRSE's mongs hang out in the Brexit threads, arguing and scribbling every day, for years and years.

ARRSE has several politicised loons and retards logging on 24/7/365, courting negative attention and arguing ad-infinitum. ARRSE mongs include long-term users and trolls. Billy-no-mates, suffering from apparent personality disorders, a victim complex and paranoia. The Ignore function is usually the best remedy.


Examples: "Baglock the Mong". Or ARRSE is infested with "tour-dodging STABs, Brexit-obsessed mongs and never-served civvie turds" (Mod Theresa_May).

See also: Supermong | Speshul Category for ARRSE's superlative shitcunt mongtards.

Down Syndrome Excluded

Not to be confused with the genuinely disabling Down Syndrome which does not qualify for the ARRSE mong label: ARRSE mongs are just dribbling belters with no excuse.

Emperor Mong

His Holiness The Emperor of All Mongs (PBUH) and the all-conquering instigator of epic batshit fcukwittery invariably frequents ARRSE. Be it Walts, Sock Puppets or broken-brain bellends: His Holiness always finds willing disciples from an ample supply of ARRSE Toilets.

Brexit and Political Junkie Mongs

These unemployed lonely wastrel psychotic dullards have fcuk all better to do. Using ARRSE as their political playground instead of its intended purposes: more dribbling mongs - Graculus, Brotherton Lad etc - than you could shake a stick are invariably trolling in the numerous ARRSE Brexit threads and other areas of the site.

How to Spot a Mong

The most obvious ARRSE mongs need no introduction to regular visitors. Fond of cliché memes like "gammony", "old cunts" and "glad you're not bothered": ARRSE's racist and ageist retards are mainly responsible for popular, sane contributors leaving the site in droves.

Adding negative value to the site, trolling mongs are dysfunctional batshit retards drinking the COSHH stock and causing disruption. In summary, mongs are 'speshul' users e.g. fcuktards, XRWs and XLWs, baiters and psychos.

Unremarkable Dullards

The majority of ARRSE mongs have nothing whatsoever in common with professional soldiers (squaddies). ARRSE's prolific mongs may be sociopathic but they are usually impotent, friendless and markedly antisocial. Most ARRSE mongs either never wore the Queen's uniform or they never deployed for war during their unremarkable military service. In summary they are shit in bed and wear chocolate medals.

The New ARRSE Vermin Mong

Other than Right Wing gobshites: chopsy never-served civilians, self-important Left Wingers and bellend Marxists, idiot civil serpents and Common Purpose cronies, are by far the most unpleasant and virulent mongs on ARRSE, stealing a march on the old ARRSE Vermin.

Mong Buttons (ARRSE Forums)

The "mong buttons" are the collection of pointless approval rating icons underneath every post, to be used instead of the brain, fortunately for the mongs. Admin thought these icons would be a good idea *cough*.

Since the site became factionalised in to pathetic political camps of loony lefties, ARRSEwipes, Libtards and neo-Nazi fascist types: psychotic mongs can only bash the buttons with impotent rage.

Button Bellendery

Equivalent to retards pulling the legs off spiders or a psychopath boiling your pet bunny: highly-disturbed thundercnuts often stalk their prey across the site just to 'mong-button' a member's entire posting history.

Mongs actually believe that furiously down-voting a post ("mong rating") really hurts members and jolly well serves them right. This is more commonly female hormonal behaviour. Yet these mongs can never formulate a cogent argument, not that cogent arguments appear very often on ARRSE.


Supermongs on ARRSE include rabid political junkies, broken-brain socks, failed STABs, and unemployed civvy bellends. All are hopeless cases. Mostly monging out permanently in the Brexit threads, ARRSE Supermongs are superlative, window licking schizoid uber-cunts unlike any other. Usually Left Wing or Right Wing dullards, they all excel as extremely irritating retards. ARRSE Users 'B-Squared' a.k.a. 'Far_King_L'; 'Brotherton Lad'; 'Graculus', or the asinine schoolboy fantasist 'Amazing Lobster'. However, user Baglock the batshit Sock Puppet sociopath (ARRSE's top SPOTY) is the best example of the broken-brain Supermong.

It's Not All Bad News for Mongs

Despite their affliction, mongs are often valued members of ARRSE because they are speshul forces with a lot to offer (of little worth). They are predictable knob-jockeys, strange, and mental. More importantly, who else would collect all the trolleys in Sainsbury's car park? - or moderate websites.

libraryimage.jpg Find out more in the Dictionary