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One Man, Wank Tank

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In the good old days of 30-man rooms with bunk beds squeaking throughout the night (allegedly leading to the birth of the word 'wank'), the single most prized achievement possible within the pecking order of singlies' accommodation was, the One-Man Wank-Tank, aka Ein-Mann-wichsen panzer or Ein-Herren-Panzer-wichsen, or similar.

Moving into a one-man love-nest would invariably lead to retreat from normal social interaction: declining a few jars down the NAAFI, or to watch X Files with your mate as per usual, or even to join your muckers for a brew at NAAFI break, were all combat indicators that you were off for a quick ham shank; a five-knuckle shuffle; to have an orgy with Pam and her sisters; to have a one-in-a-bed romp.