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The place time forgot, or at least the people that live there. So bad the name is originally French and talks of a broken bridge so it was pretty run down when they turned up some 1 millenium ago. Not a lot has changed since then. People in Leeds reckon this is the place where all the in-breds come from now residing in Leeds but let's try to build the place up.

Apparently, has a very old castle which after the English Civil War saw more action which really annoyed the Roundheads who promptly tried to raze it to the ground. Having taken far too much effort, cash and manpower they gave up and decided to undermine all those other places walls so thank 'Ponte' for all those holes on walls around the country.

Conveniently located at the intersection of the A1 and M62 that means you can fly by and ignore the place. The last mine closed down leaving a lovely spoil tip at the gateway to the town, so look right coming up the hill and admire the longest race course in England on the right hand side.

This is the home of 'Pontefract Cakes', and home to at least two (or three) sweet factories so a good place for dentistry. I hate liquorice in the same way that Gerkins in Big Macs and Marmite on toast draws out the strongest of reactions.

'Ponte' also has three railway stations, all of which are located to give travellers the impression that they have arrived at Royston Vasey. Motorists are greeted by the scenic pallet factory if they are lured from the motorway. Most of the population can be seen fighting in lumps in the market place on Saturday nights.

OK trying to finish on a high... no sorry, I give in.

Once spent a night in the Premier Inn by the power station & had the barmaid spend all evening trying to tempt into a night out in "Ponte-Carlo" as she lept referring to it. I managed to restrain myself...