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Post-Imperial Guilt

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A national state of mind that places us firmly in the dock for being directly responsible for all the World's ills. Whatever it is, guaranteed it's our fault... and sorry isn't enough. What is enough, however, is billions of Pound's worth of Overseas Aid and compensation for everything ranging from slavery right down to the great Nigerian banana crop failure of 1976. 'It was us guv, and you got us bang to rights!'

So, if your great, great uncle Rastus got his ass bitch-whipped on to the plantations of the West Indies back in 1800, chances are that a cheque is winging its way to your letterbox right now - accompanied by a letter of profound apology from the Celestial Navigator himself. And quite right too.

Next week: The Pope apologises for The Crusades... but Mohammed apologies for Feck All!