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Post Bunk

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The Post Bunk is the place where NCO's are sent to die.

Often a small, quiet room tucked away in the furthest recesses of RHQ, the Post Bunk is the lifeline to every SLI Soldier in the Barracks. No-one to date has been able to answer the question why only the most useless fuckwits are put in command of such an important and understated role.

The dedicated and committed Bunk NCO (normally months few from leaving the Army and thus incapable of caring, or deemed to have the literacy age of a 6 year old and thus incapable of reading what's written on the envelopes) will happily spend each morning filing your valuable new bank cards, ebay purchases and love letters into someone elses pigeon hole where you have no hope of finding it ... ever.

Such amusing moments can lead to fines and charges from financial institutions you were unaware were after you leading to such amusing conversations as-

"We wrote to you to explain the situation and tell you that we required the money immediately."
"No you didn't."
"Yes we did."
"No, I've not had any mail for ag..... Shit."

Other tactics employed by the Bunk NCO whenever he is unsure of where the letter goes, is to randomly throw it into a pigeon hole, and when the letter returns to him days later marked; "Not C Sqn." he repeats the process with a different pigeon hole. Thus mail can spend weeks and months happily revolving from Squadron to Squadron, office to office, before coming back so marked and scored through with "Not here." "Not part of this office." "Not on my nominal" that eventually the Bunk NCO is unable to discern through all the writing, who it was actually for in the first place.

The most effective way to circumvent this problem, is to buy a house within short walking distance of your camp, and charge a small fee for others to have their mail sent there. Eventually, the only mail the Bunk NCO will be losing / misplacing will be that of very important people that don't like being messed around. It's then only a short hop before he's kicked out of the Post Bunk and put in charge of the Clothing Store.