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Post Office

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Fuck off. We're shut!

A once fine institution that has been bastardised and re-branded beyond recognition. Once known as the GPO (General Post Office), it encompassed most aspects of communication technology - which was then either letters or (new fangled) telephones (when your number had only three digits).

The GPO was dissolved in 1969 - the comms branch becoming Post Office Telecommunications. This in turn became British Telecom and ultimately BT - an organisation that has totally lost its marbles and can now also supply you with gas and electricity - instead of pulling its fcuking finger out and getting back to basics.

The postal branch, or Royal Mail has also undergone changes. Now seemingly staffed entirely by mongs and Nigerians, its sole purpose is to lose your vital mail and fill your doormat with unwanted rain forest by-produce.

For many, the term 'Post Office' refers to the hub of village life, the outlet where one could purchase stamps and groceries, and catch up on local gossip. Unfortunately, progress has determined that these vital (to some) social oases are uneconomic and they're disappearing quicker than an Albanian in Folkstone.

This, however, has not stopped 'someone' (with a twisted sense of humour) from hiring a 'boy band' and a well-known actor (who's obviously not an employee) for a patronising TV commercial, and wasting shit-loads of money on yet another fucking logo alteration - this time to 'The People's Post Office'. That's 'people's' as in People's Republic of China, not 'people's' as in the poor fuckers who have to trudge miles to find one that functions.

Post Offices are also the ideal target for thieving pikey filth and are regularly ram-raided - a sorry situation that has only accelerated their inevitable extinction.