The British Military Open Encyclopedia - ARRSE-Pedia. Back to British Army Rumour Service Home


From ARRSEpedia
Jump to: navigation, search
White and sweet and clean

Pristina, Pristina. Sounds like it should be a clean, beautiful sort of place, full of dusky maidens. It isn't.

The newly declared country of Kosovo's capital, Pristina is the car wash capital of the world, and home to a variety of NATO troops who can be detected by their inability to tolerate the "permissive" driving habits of the locals, who are in training to become UK minicab drivers.

Pristina is a hole in the ground that taste forgot, and full of a relatively friendly bunch of Albanians. If you want a laugh, shout "ooh, look! Serbs!" and look for their delighted smiles and friendly whoops.


According to General (retd) Sir Mike Jackson, former CGS, Pristina was very nearly the site of the start of World War 3. During the Kosovo campaign, when Serb security forces moved out of the province to make space for KFOR battalions to move into the area, a Russian armoured coloumn advanced on Pristina Airport. Wes Clarke, the then Supreme Allied Commander of Europe NATO troops, was adamant that this move, then believed to be not part of the plan, was the first stage of Russian invasion, believing that with the runway captured, planes would deliver more Russian troops. He ordered Mike Jackson to send helicopters to block the run way to stop this, however the British General refused, defying a direct order from a senior officer. He said to Wes Clarke that he was not going to start World War Three for him, and threatened to resign from his position, rather than carry out the order.

Shove that in your pipe and smoke it Wes.