The British Military Open Encyclopedia - ARRSE-Pedia. Back to British Army Rumour Service Home

QM's store

From ARRSEpedia
Jump to: navigation, search

The Quartermaster's Store. Aka 'The window of 'No!'.

A place of myth and legend, full of all the shiny things that every squaddie wants. The only problem is the shinys in question are either neatly folded or stacked in large inviting piles behind triple locked steel doors bedded into reinforced concrete.

All that stands between the squaddie and the correctly fitting, or serviceable, item of their dreams, lies the Quartermaster's staff. These fall into two types;

1. The career storesman - has decided that being inside, in the warmth, with a TV, newspaper, kettle, and correctly fitting clothing is much preferable to being out in the wet. Still bitter about being rejected by the RLC for being too obsessive/compulsive, even for them. Frequently heard to mutter Stores is for storing, not for issuing. If it was, it would be called "Issues", not "Stores", geddit?. See Blanket Stacker

2. The accidental storesman - has been G3-side for twenty years, but suddenly gets lumbered with being the Regimental Quartermaster Sergeant as part of their career path. Frequently considers changing the sign outside to say "Issues". Early on realises that it's easier to count 1033's on your desk than pickhelves in an unheated hangar two hundred yards away.

Notably the RAF do not have a storeman trade, they call them 'Suppliers', which neatly turns the army mentality on its head.