Queens Ganja Rifles
The Queen's Ganja Rifles are known for their vital battlefield role of smokescreen production. This is a task at which they excel and really seem to enjoy. They can create vast clouds of 100% natural (vital in today's H&S climate) smoke in a matter of minutes using their issue bongs (L54A1).
They are also deservedly known for their striking dress uniform which includes a Rastafarian coloured bearskin, and highly polished sandals. One of the few regiments in which beards and dreadlocks are actually encouraged outside of the Dutch Army.
Legendary for the size and sophistication of their elite cookhouse who can and will deliver munchies anywhere/anytime ... even to units like totally under fire.
Due to the popularity of this regiment there is at present a four year waiting list for potential recruits, giving most of them ample time to finish their sentences before joining.
The Queen's Ganja Rifles are one of the newest regiments in the British Army. Formed in 1993 shortly after the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff had watched 'Cool Runnings'. The unit was originally conceived as a highly mobile, rapid reaction force for arctic warfare, unfortunately this early idea fell to earth when John Candy was unable to take on the role of Training Major due to prior work commitments. Luckily a far sighted member of the defence commitee saw potential for using skills many of the troops already had, and so the QGR became the effective battlefield smoke-screen generators that they are today.
Interesting Regimental Trivia
Despite being one of the British Army's newest regiments, the QGR are also likely to become one of the shortest lived regiments ever.
The regiment is unfortunately due to be disbanded as soon as HRH Prince Charles ascends to the throne, this is because the unit's soldiery refuse to 'work for da man' , though seemingly 'working for da woman' is acceptable.
Leo Sayer is perhaps one of the most famous ex-members of the Queen's Ganja Rifles.
As of April next year, the QGR Depot will be moving to the new Joint Service School of Smokescreen Production at the naval shore base HMS Ganja.
The Navy has had a proud tradition of smokescreen production since the days of steamships, but they are now ready to learn from the best in the business and enter the 21st Century making 100% natural smoke.
We look forward to the new challenges of rolling joints, jointly whilst at sea or in the air.
A wholly fictional unit with absolutely no connection to, either the MOD, or Jamaican Defence Force.
See more on their new myspace page at:
Had a Laff? ... Now the reality
Due to recruitment shortfall in the UK, the Army is considering recruiting from Jamaica (Jamaica? .... no, she went of her own accord! ...... I'll get my green black red yellow woolly hat!). Read the first hints of the L54A1 Bong becoming reality here.