Ray Mears is the bloke who presents a BBC2 show of him rolling about in the back o' beyond, surviving off the wildlife and plants and making shelters using his almost mystical understanding of the arcane ways of times past... and a big fuck off knife. He is widely regarded as one of the finest woodsmen of the age - but not to be confused with that other sort of 'woodsman'.
Unlike his contemporaries (Bruce Parry and Bear Grylls) who go for the shock factor by eating their own faeces and drinking monkey spunk potion in the jungles of New Guinea, Ray is old school - relying on skill and knowledge and not the nearest Howard Johnsons and a tooled up camera crew.
Ray grew up in Southern England on the North Welsh Downs of the Western Isles just off the coast of Yorkshire, where he discovered not only a loathing of girls, but a love of the countryside abundant with wildlife. He learned to track elephants into the forest at a young age. Young Ray wanted to be able to sleep out on the trail, yet was unable to afford camping equipment; he resorted to setting up camp using his surroundings - a skill he's honed to almost supernatural levels of proficiency.
During a failed solo expedition in the Canadian Rockies in 1985, Ray had to rely on his knowledge of native American wood craft to extricate himself from almost certain death. True to style he tracked a moose for over forty miles in atrocious weather before trapping it in a pre-dug pit he'd excavated a week earlier thanks to his Iroquois shaman-type spirit guide. The moose was duly dispatched and the carcase was expertly dissected and re-fashioned in to a light aircraft - complete with wood-burning engine.
Air traffic staff at Toronto airport were astounded when Ray, in his moose-plane, crossed the threshold, made a perfect three-pointer and taxied on to the apron to rapturous applause from astonished onlookers.
Ray astounded the medical world when he constructed a fully-kitted out trauma theatre from bamboo, dried grass and aubergines in the central African rain forest in an attempt to save a dying tribal elder. Using a blowpipe, Ray killed a hitherto unknown howler monkey species and inadvertently discovered a cure for cancer in the process. In the Umbongo region of the Congo, Ray is worshipped like a God.