When David Beckham moved to Real Madrid, Rebecca Loos became his personal assistant.
During this time Victoria was not happy in Madrid, and wanted to develop her UK music career (such that it was) so she spent much of her time in England. Day-vid (with the attention span of a gnat) got bored and quicker than you can wank a pig, Beccy was playing keepy uppy with goldenballs over a four month period.
After selling her story and doing the rounds of the tabloid press including playboy...
...she appeared on the reality television program The Farm, a Channel 5 version of the RTE show Celebrity Farm. Loos was famously given the task of masturbating a pig to collect its semen. As you can guess there were complaints (but not from the pig ... or MDN as he prefers to be called) The RSPCA criticised the show's producers for "morbid and sordid fascination with farm animals"... obviously not fans of kinky farmyard sex dvds then!
Oh fuck I would!