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Red Mist

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Red Mist is what happens to a human body if too close to an explosion... though it's more pinkish in reality. The real Red Mist is what descends upon Daily Mail readers on an almost minute-by-minute basis when they discover the latest government-sanctioned lunacy which emanates from the bored politicos at Westminster - seemingly hour-by-hour.

Red Mist can come in quite useful as it indicates to the arresting officer that you were totally off your tits with justified rage, and were (thus) not in control of your faculties when you were battering the chav senseless with a traffic cone. It's the difference between an involuntary manslaughter rap and a nice Open Prison, or being slammed up in Broadmoor for a twenty stretch with Bubba and his special friends. Or so I'm told.

WARNING

The wearing of rose-tinted spectacles in no way exonerates you of your social responsibilities.

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