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Resistance to Interrogation

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Resistance to Interrogation

Abbreviated simply, R2I is an individual's ability to keep schtum whilst having all manner of unpleasantness inflicted upon them.

Schweinhund

In the good ol' days getting captured was a simple matter of accepting a fag off one's captor after being informed that 'For you Tommy, der var ist over'. Then it was just a case of giving one's captor your name, rank and number and getting on with a spot of tunnel digging for a year or three.

Bastards

Those unfortunate enough to be captured by those honourable Sons of Nippon fared slightly worse, as the slanty-eyed bukakke merchants were not too interested in names, ranks or numbers. What the bastards were interested in was making a fucking point about oriental invincibility... oh and getting their fucking railway built.

Of consequence, thousands of Allied personnel faced a grim captivity - and invariably worse. Resistance was a pretty futile gesture when faced with having one's swede removed, though there were those that did indeed show contempt for these evil cnuts to the very end. Braver men than I Gunga Din.

Unfortunately, the ol' head lopping ploy has come back in to vogue of late and a re-assessment of what to do if caught is due, though obviously the best part of valour is not to get caught in the first place.

Slags

Time was, when being interrogated, that all that was required to hold out was a simple retort of 'You'll get nothing out of me you slag!' This was usually followed by a kicking and the 'Mr Nice Mr Angry' routine - and a compendium of mind games for the bad guys to choose from: revving engines and spare wheels against the head; wet sandbags over the turnip with that faint whiff of petrol for encouragement etc. You get the general idea - and all accompanied by the ubiquitous usage of stress positions and sleep deprivation. All character building stuff what?

Cnuts

The mind being one's own worst enemy, minutes seem like hours and hours seem like days and it's all shits and giggles. The irony is that we pretty much taught most of the cnuts who've used most of these techniques against us. The upside of this is that at least we knew what to expect. Until recently.

There has been something of a sea change of late - even down to a spot of re-branding. R2I is now termed 'Conduct After Capture' or somesuch. Telling one's captors to fuck off is not going to do you any favours, so a re-think has been deemed necessary. Without going in to too much detail here's the current take.

TELL THEM EVERYTHING (aka the Navy Lark)

Yeah, I know. Not very John Mills is it? The thing is, most of what you know is easily available with a simple Google search, so it's pointless trying to fob off your captors with duff gen. They'll know all about you and your musical tastes anyway, 'cause they'll have read your entries on Facebook and Friends Reunited and nicked your iPod.

So it's best to do exactly as your told. You may even be invited to apologise, read the news, present the weather on national TV and suffer a ickle bit of humiliation. But not to worry. You're an important bargaining tool and you'll no doubt come out of it OK - and with a nice shiny new suit to slap on eBay once back in Blighty.

The downside is the Worst Case Scenario. Unfortunately, not all potential captors are happy-go-lucky. Some are downright angry - so much so that if they capture you (and it is a very real possibility) they'll do the ol' Sons of Nippon trick and whip your turnip off with a Rambo knife. Not very nice - especially as it will undoubtedly appear on Youtube.

Read Them & Weep

There are some excellent accounts of the trails and tribulations of those nabbed by the bad guys and they're well worth a read. Forewarned is forearmed and knowledge dispels fear and all that. Easily the most read account is Bravo Two Zero by ex-SAS author Andy McNab. Less known are the gritty accounts of the Iranian hostages Faye Turney and 'Beano' Batchelor in Dying For A Fag and Wanchors Aweigh by ex-49 Para author Cyril Clunge. All are well worth the money... probably.