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Richard Gere

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Inappropriate touching, 15 yards, loss of down

Richard Tiffany1 Gere is an American actor (or at least someone who says words in films - I can't see him holding up against Olivier2)

Was married to Cindy Crawford until they divorced for certain reasons.

Got gorgeous, pouting, phew wot a scorcher, Bollywood siren Shilpa Shetty in trouble when he kissed and touched her up on stage. Frankly it would have been better if he had just racially abused Ms Shetty like the not gorgeous, not pouting, definitely not phew wot a scorcher, very dead Jade Goody did.


A number of untrue rumours abound about Mr Gere (certain details have been obscured on legal advice):

  • xxxxxx xxx xxx of a xxx with xxxx and at least four other xxxxxxxs who between them xxxx a xxx to a xxxx letting it xxxxxx.
  • His marriage to Cindy Crawford was a xxxx xxxxx to xxxxx xx his predeliction for xxxxxxxs and xxxxx xxxx as well as her tendency towards xxxxxxxxxx and a distaste for xxxx xxxxx xxxx xxxxxxxs.
  • He was reported to have xxxxx xxxxx sums of money on xxxxx and lemons while xxxxxx ate xxxx for xxxxxx xxx xxxxx x xxxx.
  • On a number of occasions he reputedly xxx a xxxxxx xx his xxxxx and xxxxx it all over his friend's xxxxxx xxxxx. xxxxx xx x xxxx xxx xxxxx xx xxx xxxxxxxx xxx.


1 I. Shit. You. Not. No duff. Abso-fucking-lutely gen. Tiffany!

2 Stop that. I meant in terms of acting ability. Nothing else.