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Salman Rushdie

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The Odd Couple

Indian-born 'author' much beloved of the Guardianista illiterati. Internationally infamous for having a fatwah slapped on his miserable arse for upsetting... wait for it, wait for it... yes... the Muslims! Sour-faced Rushdie (who underwent a successful charisma bypass operation in the 1980s) penned a eminently unreadable tome that slagged off Islam and the Holy Book. That was a really, really good idea... not. The resulting tirade of West-hating vitriol had the Jundies burning flags and hurling death threats like there was no tomorrow.

Anyhow, it all went quiet - but not until the UK tax payer had been bled to the sum of £10 million protecting the cnut from being slotted. 'Quiet' that was until TCB decided to give the beardy mong a fucking Knighthood. That's right folks. There's nothing like maintaining a low profile. Rushdie, fully paid-up member of the Anti-Everything Brigade and no great fan of the British (he did fuck off to the US after all), proudly accepted his Knighthood and the crap went through the air con at a great rate of knots of subsequence.

Rushdie's eagerness to accept the award has catapulted him back a decade in the popularity stakes, with half (if not all) the Islamic World (including Blackburn) wishing to have his swede parted from the the rest of the package.

Oddly, his missus is a right looker. Quite what she sees in this bloke has never been fully explained, but pound to a penny it's pounds and pennies. Good news guys is that they are to divorce. Best pulling pants on if you see her down the Sticky Carpet.