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Sexually Transmitted Disease

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The Pox

Battle scars.

What you might catch if your little squaddie isn't wearing a latex overcoat during a quick bunk up with that Hippocrocagrillapig you just kicked the Back Doors in ... errr ... in.

Monty Python know a song about this:

           The MEDICAL LOVE SONG 
           Inflammation of the foreskin 
           Reminds me of your smile
           I've had balanital chancroids
           For quite a little while
           I gave my heart to NSU               
           That lovely night in June
           I ache for you, my darling,
           And I hope you'll get well soon 

           My penile warts, your herpes,
           My syphilitic sore,
           Your monilial infection
           How I miss you more and more
           Your *dobies itch my *scrub-pox
           Ah, lovely gonorrhea
           At least we both were lying
           When we said that we were clear 
           My clapped-out genitalia
           Is not so bad for me
           As the complete and utter failure
           Every time I try to pee
           I'm dying from your love, my love,
           I'm your spirochetal clown
           I've left my body to science,
           But I'm afraid they've turned it down
           Gonococcal urethritis
           Streptococcal balanitis
           *Diplococcal *catholitis
           Interstitial keratitis
           Syphilitic coronitis
           And anterior *uretitis.
                                  -- Graham Chapman (RIP dude)

Words with a * are a best guess cause I'm an IT professional damnit ... not a doctor!

NSU = Non-Specific Urethritis

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