Who is this charismatic charmer and legendary "swordsman" some say he is the b@stard love child of a coupling between marilyn monroe, and iggy pop, others say he is a failed experiment to find the perfect container for dangerous chemicals...
Is the best Agony Aunt since Dear Deirdre:
Looks remarkably like Frank Skinner with a voice similar to Lorraine chase. Has a bong eye, which he 100% denies and is only 5'7.
His wardrobe includes crimpolene suits, sparkly cummerbunds and built up plastic shoes.
Favourite comedian is Stan Boardman and has a history of violence towards animals and children and a conviction for stealing Allegro spares from Kwik fit
Shortfuse dated Jo Brand in the early eighties and still has a collection of arm pit hair and toe nail clippings, which he keeps in his wallet and tires everyone with stories about the places he nailed and plated her.