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Stockport's inspiring vista

I've travelled up and down this country, From the Pennines to Land's End, But if you ask my favourite place of all, The answer isn't hard to comprehend.

I'm going back to Stockport, There's no where that can beat it, That's right, I tell ye - Stockport, Do you want me to repeat it?

Well it's S T O C K P O R T, Stockport, Stockport, It's the place for me.

The people seem to be so friendly, The houses seem to say 'come in', Somehow, well the summer smell of cotton seems to get right inside your skin.

I'm going back to Stockport, There's simply no where finer, I wouldn't budge from Stockport, For the tea in China.

Cos I'm happy there as any Cheshire cat, Stockport, Stockport, That's where it's at.

Stockport, I'm coming I tell ye, There's no where that can beat it, Stockport, do you want me to repeat it?

Come on, here we go... Stockport, Stockport, Stockport, Stockport, Stockport, Stockport - that's the place... for me.

Yeah, OK Frankie, we get the message. And so sang top high-kicking crooner and cabaret god Frankie Vaughan. Frankie was obviously pissed when he sang this forgettable ditty, as anyone in their right mind would NEVER go there in the first place - never mind go back to it.

Fortunately, Stockpot is well connected to the nation's transport infrastructure - with motorways, rail and Manchester International Airport just a stone's throw away. Of consequence, Stockpot is very easy to get the fuck out of. Best avoided.

Stockpot is home to B Company's mortars of 4 MERCIAN.