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Tabloid

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Talks Arse, But Lawyers Operate In Defence!

Noun
(tab'loid) A newspaper of small format giving the news in condensed form, usually with illustrated, sensational material.

Adjective: Also a paper containing no news, pictures of naked birds with their mammary glands exposed, generally abusive to hard working squaddies (See The Sun)

Tabloids are a form of 'old media' that are made for single mums who feel like they don't have enough drama and scandal in their lives, and sub-retarded working class males. Also a firm favourite in Officers' Messes across the land. Tabloids are very flashy and irritating to the eyes much like your average spam banner; making them a magnet for shallow morons. The content of tabloids is usually comprised of:

  • 40% celebrity trolling
  • 20% Hair product advertisements
  • 30% Bat Boy
  • 10% Tributes to Princess Diana (Princess of our Hearts) or Anna Nicole Smith

which thus equals 100% bullshit.

Tabloidcrap.jpg

With behaviour akin to that of a 16 year old girl (apart from La Wade who is many, many times that age), tabloids exaggerate the most insignificant detail of celebrities' every move into a full 2 page spread scandal. Instead of real journalism, tabloid reporters known as paparazzi) resort to trolling celebrities IRL to obtain material for their stories. This advanced technique of information gathering can cause celebrities to become extremely annoyed, which often leads to celebrity-on-paparazzi violence.

Batboy_Steals_MINI.jpg

The Sun aspires to these standards of journalism.