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Tayforth UOTC

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Also known as 'God's OTC'

This OTC comprises A (The Senior) Squadron, B Squadron and C Company. A Squadron draws her members from the University of St Andrews, B squadron draws its members from Dundee and Abertay Universities (if you can call either 'universities', noting lower case) and C Company draws her members from the University of Stirling, another questionable 'university'.

Membership of Tayforth UOTC is mainly confined to educated Scots who conform to decent standards of erudition, that is students from the University of St Andrews, who study genuine academic degrees. We let Dundonians and Stirlingers come along out of pity.

A Squadron also prides herself on having the most Harris Tweed, tartan ties, corduroy trousers and other proapar Scoats garrb (eyy paww) owned per person than any other unit in the history of the British Army. C Company, on the other hand, own more disgusting, shiny, polyester suits than should be allowed (the only allowable number is zero). A Squadron turns out consistently excellent officers; The 'officer' cadets (to whom the term is applied loosely) of B Squadron and C Company, by comparison, are utterly useless in every conceivable way.

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