The First Rule Of Combat
"Always remember the first rule of combat..."
There seems to be some confusion about what the first rule of combat is. Contenders include:
- Try to finish with the same number of holes in your body you started with.
- Never get separated from your kit (Stonker's Grandad swore by this: and he learned it from his Dad)
- Never eat yellow snow.
- Friendly Fire isn't.
- Admin your animals, your kit, then yourself.
- Never piss off a Gurkha.
- Never attack without at least a 3 to 1 superiority in numbers.
- If in doubt, brew up.
- Look after your feet.
- If the enemy have fruit and you have guns... it shouldn't be too hard a battle.
- Never deploy with 3 Para Mortar Platoon behind you.
- Never invade Russia in winter.
- Never invade Afghanistan - whatever the season.
- When 33 Alpha is about, Watch out!
- Combatants over 40 years of age must remember the vital three sub-rules : 1. Never pass up the chance of a leak; 2. Never waste an erection (even if you're on your own); 3. Never trust a fart.
- Remember that the MoD went to the lowest bidder for your weapons and ammunition.
- The Spam is not your friend ... no matter what Gordon says.
Feel free to add any more should you be inclined to do so.