The Special Air Service Regiment
|The legendary beret|
The largest corps in the British Army. Strangely enough, everyone in the Army's best mate is in the SAS and, as a result, knows all about everything that goes on in Hereford. Consequently there is no requirement to put any further information here.
Quite why anyone would want to put themselves through the physical torment that is required for enty to this exclusive organisation requires some explaining:
- They get to travel the world
- They get to blow shit up
- They jump out of planes on the edge of space
- They get to shoot pikeys... probably
- They use all the latest Gucci kit
- They shag the fittest birds or at least a better class of munter.
- They wear the allyest rig imaginable
- They get expensive watches & Range Rovers on ticket
- They don't do stag... and finally Esther...
- They get every Christmas & New Year off... guaranteed
So, you can see why it's worth all the effort. Getting out of the 'Green Army' and in to a life of action and excitement has its many rewards: not having the Badge rip you a fresh hoop for having hair longer than a Jack Russell's tadger being one of them.
Contrary to popular lore, the SAS aren't an entirely fictional Regiment, created with the sole purpose of helping squaddies tap off with easily-impressed girls.
All members are accomplished creative writers and as such are sponsored by Waterstones. B Squadron are considered (by members of B Sqn) to be the elite of 'Them', i.e. no bleedin' poofs... obviously. Interestingly if all the men claiming to be ex-SAS were to stand on each others' shoulders the guy at the top would be able to piss on Mars.
That Fateful Day
The SAS are famous for Operation NIMROD, during which there were upwards of 35,000 serving members of 22 deployed to storm the Tasmanian Embassy and rescue the ostriches. Upon completion of this tasking they were each paid one million sterling and told to go forth unto the land and spread the news of their success. That's why every pub in the United Kingdom has its own veteran who was on the roof that fateful day in 1980.
Fame! I'm gonna live forever!
Obviously such an elite regiment will attract the adventurous types amongst us and there have been several former soldiers who have gone on to great things, notably:
The Blade Abroad
The British SAS are the special forces regiment on which all others are based and the Australians have their own SASR (Special Air Service Regiment) and the New Zealanders have 1 New Zealand SAS Group, both of which are equally nails - a Kiwi recently winning the VC.
Also worth noting is that 1 Para of the Belgian Paracommandos wear the SAS cap badge in their maroon para berets. This is purely historic and there the similarity ends, as they're Belgian and are thus no better than their cheese-scoffing neighbours, who made a total ripoff of the SAS with the 1er Régiment de Parachutistes d'Infanterie de Marine. The Greek Raider Force have a similar logo.