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Tinned Sausages

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Tubes of grey paste packed in a block of lard. While at first glance utterly disgusting, they do actually taste remarkably good.

Edit by Your_Arteries: Don't even fucking think about it.

The fabled alternative use for tinned sausages involves heating the tin and contents gently, removing one end of the tin and the centre sausage and using the remaining warm, soft and lubricated orifice to insert your Sausage, Gentleman's for the purposes of sexual relief.

Points to note:

Don't get the tin too hot. Mind the sharp edges. If you are the chef, don't tell the folk you are feeding that this is how you are getting your jollies. They won't be happy . . .

After spending two weeks being dragged up a mountain and hurling my soft body down it again on a Snowqueen exercise, I was left behind with a group of animals to maintain the lodge for a load of Duke of Edinburgh Award Scheme kids. The benefit to us was they paid cash to stay in our alpine cuckoo clock.

It soon became apparent that this money was to feed aforementioned youths. But by some strange coincedence, we had mountains of compo. With every meal having a sausage theme.

Two weeks pass, the kids have backsides like a Japanese war-flags after passing pan crackers and chollestoral levels that made their blood like black pudding, whilst we had two weeks saluting Prince Phillip's generosity in der bierhaus!!