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Torchwood

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1550096174a2469739765b472002532l.jpg
Does my rift look big in this?

Popular sci-fi series based in Cardiff that revolves around the adventures of the Torchwood team: a Sneaky-Beaky bunch of ultra-secret warriors that combat the alien threat to the World - like yer do. The basic concept here is that Cardiff is the epicentre of 'The Rift' [Something I've suspected since the mid-1980s], a time-space continuum interface between thousands of other universes and our own at various and all periods in time.

The Rift keeps randomly dumping all kinds of nasty creatures and unsavoury characters from who knows where on unsuspecting Cardiff - possibly a reasonable explanation as to why the city has always had an abundance of unusual life-forms hitherto unknown in the rest of the universe. Torchwood has to hunt down and preferably terminate the hapless aliens that present a threat to our civilisation, western way of life and rights to do what we want, when we want.Unexplicably, the locals speak with thick Taffy accents which are usually found in the outlying sheep-shagging districts of Wales, as opposed to the distinct local dialect of KAIRDIFF.

Main Characters:

Captain Jack Harkness

Leader of the Torchwood team, (Group?)Captain Jack is bent as a butcher's hook, and is from both the future and the past. He runs around wearing WW2 vintageCrab kit [Definitely some kind of connection there]and has an unpalatable thing about uniforms - a possible Walt fixation? Personal weapon is an old Webley service revolver worn on a belt holster. Come on Jack, at last carry a Sig in a shoulder rig to add to the 'THEMness' of Torchwood. Better still, issue the team with Jimpys and 500 round belts to be worn 'Mexican bandit style' when hosing down the aliens (woolly hats optional, but Jack wouldn't wear one because it would spoil his hair).

Jack doesn't know which way to turn, and despite hints that in his past he liked the ladies, all we see is Jack barrelling around in arse-bandit mode. Women find him irresistible (fag hag syndrome maybe), and by the looks of it, men can't keep their hands of Jack's 'Rift' either.

P.C. Gwen Cooper

Ex Plod who is perfect until she opens her gob to display a gap the width of the Millenium Stadium between her front teeth and an accent so thick you could stand a spoon up in it. Married to Rhys Williams,a test pilot for Clarks the local pie manufacturers. By the look of Rhys he hasn't refused a mission yet and has carried everyone of them out with Extreme Prejudice.