The British Military Open Encyclopedia - ARRSE-Pedia. Back to British Army Rumour Service Home

Unload

From ARRSEpedia
Jump to: navigation, search

Unload - A safety drill taught to squaddies in order to prevent becoming a casualty whilst using dangerous public conveniences far, far away from your own private lavatory.

The full unload consists of three separate immediate actions as follows:

  • 1. Door Catch
  • 2. Magazine
  • 3. Cock in Pan

The training manual breaks down the immediate actions as follows:

  • 1. Door Catch - Ensure Door catch is present and closed to prevent Bezzer with a Razr capturing and digitally distributing your efforts to the world via the Internet.
  • 2. Magazine - Check the magazine to ensure that there is an adequate supply of the best pink and fluffy arse wipe that Andrex can provide.
  • 3. Cock in Pan - That final tuck in to prevent a map of africa on your best pulling kecks.


Once the drill has been firmly established, the soldier can mentally complete the drill as follows:

On the receiving the command unload, check:


Door Catch

Magazine

Cock in Pan


Then UNLOAD


AAAAAAAaaaaaahhhhhhhh


Also something to do with guns and things. Apparently