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User:Sven

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Sven

Troll

A troll with political aspirations who plagues the Current Affairs forum. With an opinion on everything, you will trip over this creature within five minutes of posting in CA.

Sven has no concept of actually reading what’s being said and is never happier than when taking a thread massively off track (a favourite tactic), or bringing up completely irrelevant info to muddy the waters further. Trying to pin him down to answer a specific question is like punching fog.

Cretin

He also has a remarkably cretinous grasp of English, whereby he capitalises every ‘you’, ‘him’, ‘her’ and so on - whether it’s required or not. I guess that’s what happens when you look like a fat dwarf with your head on upside down.

Sven has what is commonly known as 'Small Fat Bald Man's Syndrome' and a superiority complex that makes Piers Morgan look like a humble introvert. He has an opinion on absolutely everything, and in his mind he is the epitomy of politic purity.

Lib Dems

In reality, his political 'career' is as successful as a blind dart player. He implies he floats around the high ranks of the Lib Dem party and has the ear of the bloke who is the leader (some chap called Norman Clegg). The facts of the matter are that Sven was booted out of his local parish council for being (I quote) 'a pointless, dull cunt'. The Vicar's wife was quite specific.

Spheroid

On this site, he plays the Devil's Advocate on every single subject he dribbles on. Usually, it's a very healthy debating tool, but in Sven's case he does it to such a degree that he would present an 'argument' if the subject was 'The Earth is a spheroid and rotates on its axis around the Sun'.

He would 'debate' that it is (in fact) a cube and zig zags around a small fishing boat in the Indian Ocean. He would then present several links to various websites that prove that the Earth is a shopping trolley parked outside Morrisons in Skipton called Nigel. He would then drift the topic off at such a rate that not even a cheetah on steroids could keep up with it.

Untermensch

He rarely ventures outside Current Affairs forum because he believes this gives him protection from all the untermensch on the site who would glady feed him his own arse on a plate. It's akin to the tosser at school who stays behind and attends Stamp Club for fear of the rest of the kids duffing him up behind the bike sheds and breaking his national health specs.

Cnut

Sven briefly served in the British Army as a tent peg for a 12x12 but his career was unremarkable. So unremarkable that virtually no remark can be made.

He currently lives with his mum in a one-room bedsit and is unemployable. Which is quite amusing as he vehemently defends the welfare system and has the audacity to preach about various policies that would make him and his type return to work.

Conclusion

The site needs people like Sven. It would be a boring place if we all agreed with each other. He is the sort of person that everyone can point at and say 'you are a complete cunt'.