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Walticide

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The act of throwing oneself to the lions, either wittingly or unwittingly whilst undertaking Walting operations. Not content with boring the tits off uninterested women in pubs and clubs, some Walts seek fresher fields to graze upon.

A perfect example of this would be joining the Royal British Legion under false pretences. Some would consider such an act sheer madness, but Walts do not operate on the same wavelength as normal human beings, and their thirst for adulation and spinning unlikely yarns knows no bounds. Even worse, some even join theatre-specific or regimental associations - the adrenaline rush of potential discovery no doubt fuelling their Walting activities.

As difficult as it may be to believe, some of these individuals score quite highly on the smartie points card, embroiling themselves in branch administration and fund raising... and it's all lies. A classic case of walticide is that of Edinburgh bus driver and pie-scoffing champion Jamie Barratt.

But he who sails so close to the wind will inevitably be outed. When one starts to mix with serving members of the forces then the clock is ticking. One thing's for sure, a Walt might bluff his way at the bar for a few ales whilst regaling tales from the Iranian Embassy siege, but he will never outwit the Walt-finders and the denizens of ARRSE.

See also: