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Wheelie Bin

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The sinister urban Dalek watching your every move

A plastic moulded trash can with integral lid and undercarriage. The latest weapon in the armoury of those who watch over us when a microchip will be implanted in the bin to monitor your rubbish under the entirely false guise of 'recycling'.

This masterpiece of clandestine technology is a sure fire winner. So much so, that thousands are being dispatched to Afghanistan and Iraq as we speak... probably.

After CCTV stopped being effective in the fight against violent crime, monitoring the contents of neds' bins is obviously the next step.


If you overload your wheelie bin to the point where it cannot be moved with just two fingers, the bin will not be emptied by the Community Hygiene Technicians (bin men). You may also incur a fine, provided you don't die of Bubonic Plague after being mobbed by the rats that infest your miserable shit tip of a council house.

You may also be fined to death for leaving the lid open an inch, as this contravenes EU Health and Safety laws. So fucking well watch it sunshine, or else!