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White Lightning

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Horribly cheap and nasty cider. It is actually cheaper by volume than petrol. 2 litres of "The White" can be had for £1.29, while 2 litres of petrol is about £1.70.

A slightly more refined version is available at airports, where it is sold under the name "AVTUR".

This stuff has supplanted "Old English" as the Harold Ramp's tipple of choice in the Richmond Upon Thames area. Go to any of the riverside parks, and you will see at least one Gentleman of the Road cuddled up to a bottle of 'Lightning. Even more fun is to be had from buying a couple of bottles of it, and then getting some paraffins to do tricks for you on the promise that you'll give it to them. When you've had your fill of comedy tramp antics, move away at a brisk walk without giving them the cider (they won't be able to catch you and it isn't good for them) and, instead, find a couple of teenage schoolgirls. White Lightning is also cheaper and just as effective as Rohypnol.