|Ffion - desperate for a 3 line whip and some support|
Balding Conservative Party MP and former leader of the party. Quite possibly the best Prime Minister we've never had, Hague was born to politics and spoke at a party conference at the tender age of five. Hague regularly arrse whipped the Dear Leader at PMQs and was a joy to behold - especially when up against the Labour Party's 'village idiot' John Prescott in a verbal slanging match.
Noteworthy for his penchant for military history, Hague is also noteworthy for having a fit missus (Ffion), who in turn (obviously) has a penchant for balding Tory MPs. Confusingly, he also enjoyed his regular 'wrestling' bouts with Seb Coe. God I'm so jealous I could spit. Hague is today one of the most sought after public speakers on the circuit. Good luck to him I say now that I'm done sucking him off.