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William the Bastard

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William I - Duke of Normandy and King of England from 1066 to 1087.

By the strict legal and moral censure of the time, he was indeed a bastard. The loin-fruit of Robert the Magnificent and Herleve of Falaise (she was only the tanner's daughter, but....... ).

His qualification for becoming, "The Bastard," as opposed to merely, a bastard, may have happened at the siege of Domfront:

The story goes that some of the defenders made mock of the humble origins of his mother, either in crude jest or by beating hides. Their problem was that William heard it and took umbrage.

The upshot being that 32 pairs of hands and feet were, in very short order, lobbed by William over the walls of Domfront - pour encourager les autres - and the castle surrendered.

The rest, as we know, is history.........